What is the difference between flirting and being nice?

flirting
CurlyShirley asked:


A previous question about too much flirting when married inspired this…. What is the difference between flirting and being nice? I am nice, I am a talker, and I like to talk to everyone. Does that mean that I am a flirt?

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{ 15 comments }

arch9angel June 23, 2009 at 10:55 am

Only if you lead them on I believe. Of course it depends on the person you are talking to prospective But in my opinion if it is friendly conversation, then no.

Eliza June 26, 2009 at 6:54 am

I’d say intention is the difference. Nice people probably get mistaken as flirts a lot of the time. But someone’s inability to judge character shouldn’t be held against a nice person.

twinmommy June 27, 2009 at 1:55 pm

No being nice and talking is fine as long as you make it clear that this is conversation not flirtation.

How do you do this? Body language, eye contact etc. Women and men both know the signals that this conversation has gone to the land of flirtation :)

ndm1958 June 29, 2009 at 2:11 pm

No I do not think so. But when it comes to guys (most guys) they will take anything you say and make it what they want. So to them you are flirting, and may think you are interested in them. Do not change, I am sure whoever is your friends are very lucky.

Alyssa M July 1, 2009 at 3:22 am

if you havr no intentions of gettin them in bed, than its just being nice

nikkithebadest July 3, 2009 at 9:46 pm

that could possibly mean u are a flirt, I love talking to everyone and i mean everyone, not shy at all but it is a certain way that u might talk an individual, but just talking to everyone doesnt mean u flirt, but i do, all the time, i dont mean nothing by it, it is just my personality.

verysweet_guy July 4, 2009 at 12:58 am

Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person’s interest in courtship, which can continue into long-term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship.I hope u got the meaning of whats being a flirt,AND REGARDING BEING NICE , THAT U REALLY ARE ,so i need not define the word nice ,just look ur self in mirror u will get ur reply.

Kit Kat July 5, 2009 at 11:09 am

Being nice has caused me so much trouble as boys always assume im flirting with them…..Dont flatter yourself darling!!

tnybingham July 6, 2009 at 11:34 am

Mostly that depends on the person of whom you are flirting with.
How do they see their self with you.
You should have boundaries set. And do not allow those boundaries to be cross because that is where the miss hap occur.
I think it is alright to flirt, because I for one do it a lot, I assume that the person whom I do it with is alright with it.

mab5096 July 9, 2009 at 9:31 pm

I have the same problem; some men think I am flirting when I am only being friendly. There is a difference though; YOU know when you’re flirting. If the other person thinks you are when you aren’t then that’s their problem. Saying things that can be interpreted in a sexual way is flirting; being nice isn’t.

Sarah L July 12, 2009 at 3:54 pm

forgive the crudeness of this answer but this is how a friend explain it to me… if when talking/being nice to the opposite sex you feel good emotionally then you are being nice. if it makes you horny you are flirting

Kevin R July 14, 2009 at 10:08 am

Flirting is talking , but with intensions .

Trixie Bordello July 17, 2009 at 3:14 am

No, the two things are very different.Being nice is about being pleasant and courteous open and friendly. You could be like this with a man or a woman and there would no issue about this as you are not wanting to get involved with them in any way. Think of how a good sales person behaves and you will see what I mean.

Flirting is about taking just a little bit of a risk with someone you see as attractive, being just a bit dangerous. Sure you will be friendly and open, but there is a sexual agenda here and just a little of the trial of strength, just to see how this person measures up. Is he all show and no go? Flirting helps you get the answer at no great risk.

Merri July 19, 2009 at 5:11 pm

I love people flirting; both men and women, using their eyes, giving one another compliments, laughing and having a giggle etc. It is harmless fun if suggestive meaningful sexual remarks are not made, say in work situations.

A lovely [and oh so good looking] younger guy turned, winked and thanked me for allowing him to jump the queue in front of me with only one item. He flirted – smiled, winked blew me a kiss and was most grateful. I laughed, reddened, [not used to someone flirting with me every day], and his flirting made my week NO month LOL.

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bily(bc i luv u) July 21, 2009 at 3:04 pm

I’m a nice, talkative person too. And I found sometimes I’m a bit flirty, and it’s natural. Most of the time, I don’t intend to do it.

So for me, if it looks natural, it’s being nice. If it’s done by purpose to sending some signals, it’s a flirting.


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