If a man uses money to attract women, who is to blame for the gold diggas around?
Lioness asked:
If a man uses his career, money or gifts to attract women, can he be surprised that women are only around for money? Do money hungry women waste time on men who they know they can’t get much from? Whether it’s because he doesn’t have the money or because he sets clear boundaries and demands a give and take relationship?
some men only want prostitutes. nothing to be mad about!
Comment by Grand Poobah — February 27, 2009 @ 12:37 am
If you have to ask…
Comment by Muchacho Loco — February 28, 2009 @ 3:43 am
WOMEN are to blame because they should NOT be attracted to those things in the first place.
Comment by Mike T — February 28, 2009 @ 4:14 am
both. Its the same with girls wearing slutty cloth, and then getting raped. Although no never mind. I dunno
Comment by casquo — March 6, 2009 @ 1:54 am
Good question. I’ve met many men, not in a romantic setting, who throw their money around at women and then complain behind their backs that the women want them for money. I just shake my head & laugh. These types of men have nothing else to offer, obviously, and that’s why all they get is gold diggers, not women like me.
Comment by Anarcho Capitalist — March 6, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
To answer your questions:
1. Who is to blame for gold diggers? Obviously the gold diggers are to blame. Just because the man has money and flaunts it, women should have the strength of character, internal moral structure, and self-esteem to resist being a gold digger, and in turn, being nothing more than a very expensive prostitute to the wealthy man.
2. Can the man using money to attract women be surprised? Nope, he should expect it. If he has nothing more to offer in a relationship than his money, how can he expect to find someone who is interested in him for more than that (rhetorical question)?
3. Do gold diggers waste time on poor men? Usually not, unless they are hungry or want to get drunk and find a willing dupe to pay for their meal or drinks…but nothing long term.
4. I don’t get the last question…but if I take a guess I would assume it is talking about the dynamics between a wealthy man and a gold digger…perhaps. In this case, I would say that if a man is using his money to “buy” a gold digger and he makes certain demands in exchange for his money, then she needs to decide if gold digging is right for her. If yes, then she should meet his demands.
Comment by ®PsychologyGuy — March 7, 2009 @ 1:15 am
Every relationship is a give and take affair. You give what you have but always expect a certain amount of reciprocation – atleast, an average individual does. When you have love to give, good for you. But when you lack love within you ( because either you are not really attracted genuinely or you are incapable of showing it to yourself or others) then what do you give? You give your worth, money or gifts as a substitute.
Again what your partner gives back depends on what she has got for the relationship. If there is no love, it is mere physical submission in return for what you give.
What is distressing is that most people “choose “not to give love as probably they think it is too high-priced to be wasted on what they know will never last.
Comment by Magnamia — March 9, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
It’s the man’s fault. He should know that if he uses money and gifts to attract women, then he will be most likely attracting certain women, who are most likely going to be materialistic. If a man doesn’t like it, then he should use other means of attracting women than just money or gifts. I think it’s important that a guy is not a bum, obviously and security and direction, and have a decent job, but if he at least has that, then if he actually has a personality or intelligence, he can use these assets and others with attracting women instread of money.
I just have a feeling that a man that uses money to attract women probably doesn’t have much charm, charisma, wit, and humor or any, and might also not be physically attractive either. Because women want a man to have some sense or direction and motivation and security, but I think more care about a man being respectful, kind, generous, and funny, than being with a Donald Trump. I mean goldiggers might want a Donald Trump, but I don’t think all women are gold diggers, and many care about persality assets more and being cared for than materials.
Comment by cltchperf — March 11, 2009 @ 2:26 am
who’s to blame? gold diggers are gold diggers by choice – just as a man who uses money to attract women does it by choice. If he uses his attributes to attract, what makes you think he’d be surprised at the result? This doesn’t make any sense. If women are money-hungry, then of course they won’t waste their time on men who don’t meet their criteria. He can demand anything he wants but if it’s money she’s after and he hasn’t any, he’ll be talking to himself.
Comment by FunnyUnc — March 11, 2009 @ 5:25 am
People of both genders always look to what they have to give in a relationship, and what they stand to get.
People have different priorities. Some men want to attract a beautiful young woman who is complaint and will hang on his arm and make him look good. Some women will hang round a man who will lavish expensive gifts on them.
Some women will be attracted to ideas, conversation, and look to a man they can trust and talk to, who is moderately attractive to her, who she trusts is reliable.
People set out their stalls to attract one another. And yes, certainly if a man is flashing cash around to attract women, then he will naturally attract women who are interested in him for his money.
As for who is to blame – to a degree gold diggers and those with profligate wealth often seek each other out. For some the match even works quite well too.
Indeed in many parts of the world, marriage is treated as a distinct commodity. An older wealthy man will be given many offers from families with attractive young daughters looking to marry up in the world.
In many parts of the world, women advertise for a “generous” husband stating very clearly what they will offer in exchange for financial security.
The issue really with gold diggers is that they generally try to pretend to be something they are not. Which is to say that they feign an emotional attachment in order to form a relationship where they seek a massive economic hand out based on their deception.
Many women may seek a modest hand out and not try to deceive a wealthy man at all.
To me the issue with gold diggers is that they use sexuality to deceive, not that they seek out rich men for their wealth. And for that I blame their own greed, and a society which puts more value, often, on personal gain than it does on ethics.
Comment by Twilight — March 12, 2009 @ 3:30 pm
Any bad behavior that gets rewarded will continue to occur, on both sides.
Comment by 50/50 to 50 — March 13, 2009 @ 2:39 am
In that case, I think they’re both to blame… She had to be materialistic and superficial to begin with if that was enough to attract her and he drew a big bullseye on his chest. If he wants to wave his wallet around he can’t be surprised when a woman sees dollar signs.
Comment by ? — March 15, 2009 @ 10:34 am
I agree. As I see it, rich men and gold diggers probably both know the score, and both know that the other likely isn’t in it for the “right” reasons (he’s in it because she’s a beautiful piece of arm candy, she’s in it so he’ll buy her things). If it works for them, who are we to say it’s wrong?
EDIT: Mike T: People have a right to be attracted to whatever they’re attracted to, and regardless of how morally repugnant we might think it is, none of us have the right to condemn them or tell them how to live their lives. I could argue that men should NOT be attracted to something as shallow as fleeting physical beauty in the first place (and realistically, in today’s age it makes no sense because beauty is no longer the sign of fertility and good health that it once was), but is that going to change anything? No, it isn’t. People don’t consciously CHOOSE what they are attracted to, so they ought not be shamed for it. This is a tough fact of life to grapple with, and I’ve had problems with it myself.
Comment by Rebel F — March 18, 2009 @ 9:16 am
Women are to blame because the sustain the romance rituals encouraging men to buy flowers, pay for dinner … etc.
Comment by Chris99 — March 20, 2009 @ 1:46 am
If the relationship is agreed upon she only wants money and he only wants a trophy wife…or one night stand), then I suppose it is fine. The problem comes when there is manipulation on either part.
Comment by Envy Ivy — March 20, 2009 @ 6:36 am
You make a good point. My mom always said ” if you go around dressed like it is Halloween, you are going to attract ghouls.” I do think you are right about how can men be surprised when they flaunt the fact they have money, try to impress women with gifts, and material things, then they are surprised when they find out their wife/ girlfriend..etc.. is only there because of what they can provide and not because they like them as a person? I do not think that a money hungry woman would waste her time on a man with only meager means. They see themselves living one lifestyle and they only go after someone who can keep them up in a way they are used to. Who would want someone like that? ( shudders)
Comment by omorris1978 — March 23, 2009 @ 8:29 am
Women don’t have to take the bait. And It’s not like all wealthy men are asking for it some are actually trying to find someone. Having money doesn’t automatically make them some womanizer. I mean if you want to believe that then why shouldn’t people believe that woman who dress provocatively want to get raped?
Comment by squeak — March 24, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
Well it’s that man’s fault for putting himself out there like that. I know if I had money coming out the butthole and was flaunting myself around like that, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. That female would just be another prostitute that I wouldn’t have to committ myself to. You pay a woman to go out with you, she’s an escort and she will probably think the same too.
Now if a guy has a lot of money but isn’t throwing himself out there like that but is looking for actual love, then that two faced female is to blame. In this case, she’d be treating it like it was a job just as some ladies who’s mother’s tell them to “marry someone rich and have their baby; you’ll be paid for life!” (Yes, someone told me her mother said that, even though she might have been lying.) I could go into off key details but it all depends if the man allows that female to juggle his money around.
And money hungry women never waste time with any guy they know they can’t get much from.
Comment by Bryan F — March 26, 2009 @ 5:25 am
Anyone who has been dug up or digs someone else up is to blame.
Comment by vintner — March 29, 2009 @ 7:32 am
Hello lioness,
Stingy people hoard things and throw away people. I wrote that.
Men who throw money around are trying to buy the woman who can be bought with something that has no value to him – his money, simply because he has it coming out of his you know.
You can’t buy love. I didn’t write that.
Money hungry women, gold diggers sell what has no value to them, because they have superficial beauty coming out of their you know.
This is a take and take transaction.
Poor men can’t buy what the women are selling.
The lucky ones’ bargain is value given for value received and both give away but get even more back.
C.
Comment by Char — March 31, 2009 @ 10:02 pm
The men are just as guilty as the woman.
Comment by madame_mao — April 2, 2009 @ 11:50 am